Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Natural
Step 1: Make enormous yarn purchase using personal bank account direct deduction through Paypal.
Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Oatmeal
Step 2: Have enormous yarn purchase delivered to work. Dodge questions from co-workers about contest of package.
Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Medium Sheeps Gray
Step 3: Plan to arrive home from work well in advance of spouse. Allow enough time to complete all steps as well as normal spousal duties like making dinner, so as not to arouse suspicion.
Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Dark Sheeps Gray
Step 4: Procure giant storage bag(s). Raid spouse's stash if necessary.
Step 5: Place yarn into giant storage bags, lay on top of to remove as much air as possible and store in rarely used bed drawer. Make sure bed drawer is on your side of the bed.
Step 6: (optional) Place laundry basket and other random bedroom object in front of rarely used bed drawer.
Step 7: Discard any and all incriminating shipping materials. Burn if necessary.
Unfortunately for me, I messed up on step 3 and my wife got home as I was in the middle of the process. I had one bag done and stupidly tried to hide the rest, tossing a sweatshirt over the box. She walked into the bedroom and said, "What's in the box?"
All told, that's 40 skeins of Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply. 8,400 yards / 10 pounds / 4 sweaters worth (or more) of yarn. And I only paid $135 shipped. Can you say bargain?