Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How to Hide Yarn From Your Spouse in 7 Easy Steps

Bartlett Natural
Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Natural

Step 1: Make enormous yarn purchase using personal bank account direct deduction through Paypal.

Bartlett Oatmeal
Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Oatmeal

Step 2: Have enormous yarn purchase delivered to work. Dodge questions from co-workers about contest of package.

Bartlett Medium Sheeps Gray
Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Medium Sheeps Gray

Step 3: Plan to arrive home from work well in advance of spouse. Allow enough time to complete all steps as well as normal spousal duties like making dinner, so as not to arouse suspicion.

Bartlett Dark Sheeps Gray
Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply, Dark Sheeps Gray

Step 4: Procure giant storage bag(s). Raid spouse's stash if necessary.

Hefty XXL zip bag

Step 5: Place yarn into giant storage bags, lay on top of to remove as much air as possible and store in rarely used bed drawer. Make sure bed drawer is on your side of the bed.

Yarn in the bed drawer

Step 6: (optional) Place laundry basket and other random bedroom object in front of rarely used bed drawer.

Step 7: Discard any and all incriminating shipping materials. Burn if necessary.

Unfortunately for me, I messed up on step 3 and my wife got home as I was in the middle of the process. I had one bag done and stupidly tried to hide the rest, tossing a sweatshirt over the box. She walked into the bedroom and said, "What's in the box?"

Damn.

All told, that's 40 skeins of Bartlettyarns Fisherman 2-Ply. 8,400 yards / 10 pounds / 4 sweaters worth (or more) of yarn. And I only paid $135 shipped. Can you say bargain?

7 comments:

Meg said...

you are fabulous! thank goodness for paypal accounts - honestly it is what saves my marriage at yarn sales.

brandilion said...

Oh My God, that's a lot of yarn. I can't wait to see a product :) Thanks for the tutorial.

Danman said...

DUDE! You've got it bad! I love it, what a hoot. Have fun with all that wool.

Larjmarj said...

WoW you got a hell of a bargain!! I've done the hiding trick too. Usually I come in the side door of the house and toss the incriminating purchase down the basement steps. Then I'll go down there later and sneak everything in to my stash cabinet. Paypal ROCKS!

Wendy said...

One might think that a wife would be proud of a man's keen eye for a great bargain... I say, go ahead and flaunt it baby!

woolanthropy said...

Way to stash a bargain bunch of yarny goodness! Too bad you got caught. I just got a big box delivery today and just threw it under a pile of other yarn, but I am going to have to find a place to stash it pronto. I am glad I am not alone in the madness.

BTW I love your aran hat.

Monique said...

LMAO! This post hit home for me, I might have to try this. I usually go the lazy route: When spouse sees & asks about newly purchased yarn, promptly say, "This? Oh, I've had this forever."
But $135? Good deal. Hard to beat.